It has been a bit of slow week for me compared to recent weeks.
Apart from the odd thing I have agreed to, like dog sitting, which has pushed me out of my comfort zone, I have plateaued in my recovery.
Right now given my current financial situation, I am in the position where I can’t really do too much more.
Being on benefits has its pros and cons. I am truly fortunate to be able to claim benefits and despite the difficulty, it took to get them I really couldn’t have survived, especially the last year, without them.
There is no doubt in my mind I still need to be on benefits but at the same time, my recovery has reached a crossroads where money is affecting how much further I can go forward in certain areas.
Money makes the world go round whether we like it or not. Over the last few years, I have transitioned into a place where I no longer care about money apart from having enough to live.
The problem is I’m still not really living right now and thanks to some poor past decisions and also the amount of money I get, it applies limitations to what I can and can’t do.
What has worked for me so far in my recovery is taking small incremental steps forward, one at a time. And I would like to continue doing so. The only way I can continue making these small steps is to free up more money and that’s exactly what I am planning on doing.
I live by a very strict budget in order to make sure my bills are paid, food is on my table, fuel is in my car and money is being put away to pay off my debts and to have a small rainy day fund.
Not all of my bills are necessary and cutting them down isn’t always so simple especially when you are tied into contracts etc. But I am finally in a position to get out of the last few agreements I have and can reduce my bills significantly. Which then means I will have more money to get back to progressing forward and working on things consistently every day rather than once a week or even less.
Navigating all of this is quite stressful for me. There are some uncertainties and I’m waiting on different people and companies but it is something I must do because if I don’t I will stay stuck in the position I am right now which is not what I want or what I need.
Apart from the stress it quite an exciting time and I’m looking forward to getting back to making progress.