It's hard to put my finger on why I'm feeling the way I am right now. Is it just down to my mental health and that it's taking it toll on me. Is it the withdrawal from the medication.
The fluctuation in my mental state is something I have come to notice more and more. Not just by myself but other people around me commenting on it as well.
I will go from being ecstatic, happy, making plans, excited for the future, trying to do everything that I've been putting off, to within an instant I have become low, I care about nothing, I will be distant, my head will hurt and that feeling of something awful is going to happen will set in and next back to the other state.
It's a rollercoaster of emotion. When I am at my high I'm never thinking about the low but when I am at my low that's all I can think of. I miss feeling good, I'll be in so much mental and emotional pain and I'll want to end it all and I can never see how I will get through another hour.
I am starting to spend more time looking into ways I can overcome depression day-to-day that I am capable of doing on my own.
Look out for more blog posts about things I am going to try. I'll be writing how I got on with each of them.