Another Day, Another Start

Living with depression in unbearable at the best of times. There are days I won't do anything and hope I don't notice how bad I am feeling. Some days I won't have a minute to sit down because I'll be that busy but I still will feel little to no happiness or accomplishment.

Last night I couldn't sleep again. I tried to sleep about midnight, then again at half 2 and finally I managed close to 6am this morning to fall asleep. I didn't let it get the best of me and remained positive. I engaged myself with editing pictures and writing parts for my book but the inability to sleep when I want to is beginning to chip away.

Previously when I was suffering with anxiety I could use mindfulness and breathing techniques to stop worrying and allow myself to relax and be able to sleep but now there isn't any reason apart from I know how awful I feel every morning and I don't want to put myself through that and staying awake seems the better option.

Today though I decided to make a conscious effort to put in place certain things which could potentially help me going forward.

I started by making myself some breakfast, which I rarely do if ever in recent times.

I then started planning my meals for the weak so I can prep them. I'm keen to get back to the gym and I need to do a small cut to become more defined as the constant binge eating over the last couple of months has left me slightly out of shape to say the least, so I've been working out my calories and macros for each meal and have prepped food for the next 5 days so I have one less thing to worry about and eat better throughout the weak.

Hopefully I will see an improvement in my overall mood going forward.

My car has been bugging me for awhile at how dirty it is and I actually got round to cleaning it today. I felt a small bit of accomplishment that now every time I go to get in my car I don't have to look at the mud splattered white bodywork and I will be able to see out of my back window which is always helpful when driving.

It's not a lot but it is something. It is a start.