27/10/14

Today was the last day of my CBT group therapy, although only a 7 week course that ended up taking two and a half months, due to rescheduling and unforeseen circumstances, I'm glad it went on the period of time it did because I was able to put the tools and techniques into practice more and see results before finishing the course. The group ended with only four people, started with eight, but this was more effective because we were able to become more open with each other and especially for me I was able to receive help and guidance not only from the therapist but the others within our group.

I do still feel I need some more help though, I liked the two hours on a Monday to talk about what's been going on and to get anything off my chest, it was also a place to get guidance and someone to keep me on track with what I need to be doing. Hopefully I will be referred to some one on one to get further help in the next month or so.

Anticipation is my biggest problem at the moment which is causing me most of my anxiety, I have very little problem once I'm there and in the situation, it's the build up to it. I need to make more of an effort to tackle my negative thoughts and pre-conceptions. It's just such a long process and for the person going through it, it is difficult to see how far we've come and it's so easy to get off course and lapse.

Right now I feel as though I'm going through a slight lapse, I have a four day course starting tomorrow which is causing me a lot of anxiety and then I'm starting back at work this weekend coming and like I have said above once I'm there I will be more than likely fine, it's just all the build and anticipation is too much and that what usually leads to my avoidance.

Tomorrow is very important to me and the start of my venture into running my own business but along side all the positives is anticipation in the back of my mind, the anticipation is all based on evidence from past similar circumstances. Tonight I'm going to make an effort to challenge these negative thoughts and pre-conceptions and see if they have any benefit going into tomorrow and how tomorrow goes.