06/10/14

There was often times before being diagnosed that I would think I was going insane, stuck in my own head, going round and round in circles. I'd have visions of myself being locked up in a mental institution, wearing a straight jacket, whilst being on suicide watch. Obviously that was never going to happen but in my head it seemed possible. Being diagnosed was the turning point for me, knowing what was wrong meant I was in control of my anxiety and my anxiety wasn't controlling me. All the tools and techniques I've been shown to deal with my anxiety are now more useful than ever.

The past week I've had more good days than bad, more willingness to do things, the excitement and enjoyment to do them isn't quite there yet but I'm working towards that. The low moods and almost depressed nature I get have certainly been less frequent which I think is down to trying to lead a better lifestyle, eating healthier, more structure to my life in terms of sleep and getting up and about. The next step for me is to incorporate exercise back into my daily life.

If I dare say it, I slowly feel myself getting back to "normal". Normal probably isn't the right word because what is normal? So I'm going to say back to a state where my anxiety doesn't control my life. This hasn't happened over night, this is 8 months down the line from where I first extended an arm for help and 5 weeks into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and I'm not there yet, so if you're reading this, going through what I am, there is no timeline on this, It's all down to the individual and having the necessary resources available to you, but remember the help is out there and majority of the time you have to be proactive and go out and get it.