05/10/14

Have you ever sat and overthought certain things and thoughts? Well I overthink everything from something a simple as what I'm going to have to eat to going to work or out with friends and it's not positive overthinking it's all negative, it's everything that could go wrong. How long have I got to be there? How can I get away without people noticing? Where's the nearest toilet? Will people notice if I'm feeling anxious? and it's mentally draining.

These are some differences in Normal worrying and someone with GAD.

"Normal" Worry vs. Generalized Anxiety Disorder
“Normal” Worry:Generalized Anxiety Disorder:
Your worrying doesn’t get in the way of your daily activities and responsibilities.
Your worrying significantly disrupts your job, activities, or social life.
You’re able to control your worrying.
Your worrying is uncontrollable.
Your worries, while unpleasant, don’t cause significant distress.
Your worries are extremely upsetting and stressful.
Your worries are limited to a specific, small number of realistic concerns.
You worry about all sorts of things, and tend to expect the worst.
Your bouts of worrying last for only a short time period.
You’ve been worrying almost every day for at least six months.

Everything I seem to do is controlled and when I can't control it, I become anxious and life isn't black and white and it shouldn't be controlled but I find it difficult to just let go. I have certain safety blankets such as I always drive if I'm going anywhere in the chance that I need to get out of a situation, I carry Imodium in my wallet in case I have to go on a long journey or if my bowels start to play up because of my anxiety, I don't drink because I don't like not being in control.

The last couple of days have been good, my mood has lifted and I'm feeling a lot more positive in general. Looking after number one, has been key in doing so. Not trying to please everyone and just doing what is best for me. Many people see mental illness as being very selfish but if I'm not going to look after myself and help me who is? The only person who can truly help me is me and realistically isn't everyone who chooses to overlook mental illness and disregard it, are they not being selfish?