So the last week I’ve spent at my aunties and uncles house in Walton-on-Trent whilst they’ve been away on holiday.
The opportunity to get away for a bit whilst still relatively close to home was just what I’ve needed. I’ve spent some time here over the last few years when I’ve needed to and I’ve been meaning to come and spend some time here again to keep moving forward with all the things I’m doing with my therapist without the constant anxieties I have from being at home.
I took the drive over here late last Saturday night. The later hours of the day are easier for me to drive at due to the roads being quieter and therefore less anxiety/panic-inducing. I still had multiple crippling panic attacks before leaving the house but once I got past the panic attacks and my anxiety levels decreased just enough till the point I felt I could utilise all the things I have been working on in therapy I attempted the drive over.
It is less than a 15 minute drive but I’ve only recently been working my way back to being comfortable driving with my anxiety in the car again and motorways, dual carriageways, traffic lights, roadworks etc induce panic almost instantly and I’ve got a long way to go to be able to do this sort of drive regularly.
Either way I made it in one piece and the surprising part is that going through such a tough experience with my anxiety in the past would have left me beating myself up and struggling with the anxiety long after the event itself and quickly finding myself in a depressive episode that sometimes could take days to lift, however, this time it was very different, I felt proud of myself and it felt like such a huge achievement and yes I still felt exhausted and drained but that is to be expected with what my body and mind go through whilst experiencing anxiety and panic.
This week brought with it some different challenges and the chance to put into practice some of what I have learnt and been experimenting with during therapy and on my own. It has been a real eye-opener to how much this stuff can be transferable to all my emotions and not just anxiety. That fills me with the hope that I can also learn to manage my anxiety even better also, it will just take longer seems though it is the thing I struggle with the most.
I have been experiencing less anxiety on a day to day basis whilst here apart from of course when I have to do certain tasks and take my anxiety with me. It has been a long time since I have been able to experience this little amount of anxiety whilst being at home and that makes me a lot happier. I am even considering staying here next week but first I need to head back home for my therapy appointment and to see some friends.
Check out some of the images I have captured whilst here below.